Sometimes, being different can be hard.
We bombard our daughters with stories about how to be or look like someone else. We emphasize that who they are is not good enough. It is suggested that they should strive to be someone different. This misinformation happens all around us. It’s in the classroom, playing with their friends, and watching their favorite shows. We obsess over being perfect.
How do we help our daughters see beauty in their own unique weirdness?
Below are ten things you can do to build her up and show her how amazing she is, just the way she is.
1. What makes her feel beautiful?
Ask her what makes her feel beautiful. Her answers may surprise you. Maybe it’s the different hair bows she chooses every day. She may like to wear bright leggings or opposing patterns that represent how she is feeling that day. It could even be subtle, like a birthmark above her lip or her curly hair.
It could be anything. Just don’t assume that you already know. Ask her. Then point it out every day to remind her how beautiful she is.
2. What does she think is weird about herself? Help her find something positive about it.
This may be a hard question to hear the answer to, but knowing what she finds weird about herself can help you turn those things into something positive. For example, if she doesn’t like the shape of her face, you could find pictures of role models with a face shape like hers. This helps her see being different in a more positive way while also boosting her confidence.
3. What does she want to be when she grows up?
Find out what her goals are. Does she want to be an astronaut or a singer? Encourage her to pursue those dreams. Make sure she knows you are proud of her and the goals she has for her future. Even if they change.
4. Compliment her.
Compliments go a long way in building self-confidence. Don’t be afraid to tell her she is beautiful, but don’t just focus on her looks. Compliment her when you notice her being kind. Gush over something she created. Thank her for being generous, especially when you know it was hard for her.
5. Mirror positive self-talk.
When she is getting ready in the morning, point out how lovely her smile is or the twinkle you can see in her eyes. Point out those little things that shine through from inside out.
6. Point out weirdness in a positive way.
It’s okay to be different, and it’s important that she knows this. When you are watching a show together or reading a book, point out weird things in the characters and talk about how it makes them unique. If you go out shopping, point out interesting characteristics in other people and how beautiful they are. Remind her we are all different and how important it is to be ourselves.
7. Lead by example.
Being mindful of our own negative self-talk is important. She watches you and learns from you. So stop asking your partner if an outfit makes you look fat. This isn’t helpful to her or to you.
8. Be there for her.
No matter what, be there for her. If she is having a good day or a bad one, she needs to know you are on her side and will be there to listen to her. She will know she has support and she will not feel alone.
9. Let her cry.
Crying isn’t bad. It is how we express ourselves, and it is also good for stress relief. Let her know it is okay to cry, and it doesn’t make her weak.
Listening is probably the most important thing on this list. When we choose active listening, we can often catch the things our daughter isn’t saying. It’s important for her self-confidence that she feels heard and understood.
In this world of information and perceived perfection, it’s important to remind our daughters that being different is a good thing. It would be a boring place if we were all the same. Nongirly believes that the world becomes a uniquely beautiful place, the more we dare to be different. To find more helpful tips like these keep scrolling through our blog or visit our Facebook.