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Gamer Guys Are Rude. I’m a Girl. What Do I Do?

by Luiza Daude Laurents
Gamer Girl

If you’re a girl who loves video games, but is struggling to play cause guys are often rude – you’ve come to the right place. I’ve dealt with it before and it really sucks. It takes so much of the fun out of playing games online, especially when the whole point of online games is to play with friends and be in a community. Having dealt with it in the past, there actually are lots of things you can do when guys (or really anyone) are being rude to you. The most important thing is to remember you don’t have to – and shouldn’t – stand for being treated badly. 

I remember a time back in high school where some of my guy  friends convinced me I should play League of Legends with them. At the time I felt so lucky I had them, because I was terrible at the game and all these guys were super mean to me in the chat. It wasn’t until later on that I realized my friends’ defense “Oh don’t be mean to her, she’s a girl, she can’t play well,” was actually an insult in it’s own way. I’m not denying I was bad at the game – cause I was straight garbage – but that had nothing to do with me being a girl, and everything to do with a lack of experience.

Nowadays when I play games online I don’t encounter as much of this, especially considering the overall rise in popularity of online games. That being said, it still happens often enough to warrant talking about it.

Mute

Put them on mute. There is no reason in the world you have to listen to a word someone trying to be mean to you is saying. If they’re going out of their way to ruin your experience of the game, they’re just not worth it. Fortunately in most games you can mute specific players, all players, and get rid of the chat bar.

This is a lot harder to do when you’re playing a team game like Valorant, but if they get mad at you for muting them, it’s only their own fault. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this, but if you’re feeling a little bold and your team member is being awful, you can always throw the game. It’ll definitely make them more angry, but you can just block them, and never have to deal with them again.

Block

Straight up block them. If muting them is for any reason not enough, don’t feel bad about simply blocking them instead. You don’t need to keep negativity around for any reason! Blocking them will mean that they’ll never be able to contact you or speak to you again, it’s a great step above just muting them if you’re worried they’ll try to harass you in other ways.

Confrontation

Tell them to back off! This can be harder to do, and I’ll admit it can lead to more harassment, but sometimes it’s exactly what you need to make yourself feel better, and it’s possible that they may even stop. Sometimes people are rude to just be rude, but people could also be rude because they’re feeling insecure about how good they are at the game, have had a bad day, etc. This is no excuse, but talking about it with them can sometimes lead to a better outcome for both of you.

If you can find the strength to tell someone to leave you alone, even if you have to block them or keep them on mute, I’ve found that it makes me feel so much better. However, I think it is really important to not take this too far. It’s easy when you’re confronting someone, especially when they’ve been really mean, to start a fight. At that moment it may feel great, but at the end of the day it likely won’t resolve the issue. So, if they’re bent on insulting you, just block em.

Report

Report their username. If for whatever reason you can’t get a player to stop being rude to you or they’re making you, and even others you may be playing with uncomfortable, go ahead and report them! I promise it’s not too harsh.

By reporting them you’re letting the game admins themselves know about misconduct or whatever you want to call it, and they’ll take steps to deal with the player being rude. Often this works on a strikes system, but if it’s a consistent issue with that player, they’ll likely end up banned from the game.

Outside Support

Find yourself a gaming crew. I think this is one of the most valuable things you can do. Now sure guys may still be rude to you online for one reason or another. You may have to take those steps like blocking them or reporting them, but having that support will not only make the game more fun, but it will also prevent people’s rudeness from bothering you as much.

Nowadays it is pretty easy to find groups online, on Discord, or even in an in-game guild, that have the same mentality as you. Just remember as you’re making these online friends to take precautions. Don’t give out personal information, and if anyone starts being weird you can always just block them or find another group. Really common sense is key, but don’t be afraid to make friends either!

I hope this helps you feel like you’re not alone in these situations, and that you’re able to use some of these tips to keep yourself safe and having fun!

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